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'Love & Hip Hop' star Teairra Mari is learning a HARD lesson about punctuality -- you blow off a court case, the judge issues a bench warrant for your ass. Here's the deal ... Mari was supposed to be in an L.A. courtroom on Monday to face charges that she beat the crap out of an Uber driver last year and stole his cell phone charger. But when her case was called, Mari was MIA -- so the judge issued a warrant for her arrest. Long story short ... Mari's been ordered to surrender to authorities so she can stand trial asap -- and if a cop spots her gallivanting around town, she could be cuffed on the spot.
Faizon Love beating the crap out of a valet, and getting arrested in Ohio is really good for biz ... based on ticket sales for his next stand-up show. As we reported, Faizon was arrested Tuesday after the brutal attack -- captured on surveillance video. The arrest came 8 days before his headlining gig at Funny Bone Comedy Club in Columbus. Perfect timing. Management at the club says they sold nearly 100 tickets on Wednesday alone ... the day after the comedian's arrest. By comparison, they only sold 24 tickets the day before. The spike puts his 2 scheduled shows on March 15 at just over 80% capacity. Also, management says no one's asked for a refund yet. As they say, no such thing as bad publicity. Although Faizon's lawyer might beg to differ.
Kim Zolciak was joking when she said her daughter, Brielle, would trade oral sex -- in fewer words -- to meet John Legend, but if you didn't know it was a joke ... Kim says you can kick rocks. Kim hit up Legend's wife, Chrissy Teigen, Wednesday on Twitter about his upcoming Atlanta show. Naturally, several of their followers thought her joke went too far, or maybe she'd been hacked. But Kim tells us it was all in jest, and if you regularly follow her and Chrissy, you would know that's just their sense of humor. She added, "If you can't take a joke feel free to unfollow."
Katy Perry dodged a Taylor Swift bullet at the VMAs -- even though she's hosting the show -- 'cause she was nowhere to be seen during the TV debut of T. Swift's new music video. Katy ducked out from introducing Taylor's new single "Look What You Made Me Do" Sunday during MTV's award show ... managing to steer clear of any mention of Taylor once it ended. The show came out of commercial and went right into Taylor's video with just a generic PSA on the monitors at the Forum. Afterward, "Blackish" star Yara Shahidi came onstage to introduce a performance for Shawn Mendes. Through it all ... Katy made herself scarce.
LAPD rushed to the home of Diddy's kids in response to a death threat and gunfire call ... but it may just be a bad comeback for "swatting." Law enforcement sources tell us ... cops got a call early Thursday AM that a disturbing letter threatening to kill everybody in the house was left on the doorstep of baby mama Kim Porter's L.A. area home. Officers rushed to the scene, but no one was home ... nor was there a letter. Six minutes after cops left ... another call came in reporting multiple shots were fired, and the house was engulfed in flames. Police rushed back, but again ... nothing.

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